Holding On and Letting Go
by simplemusings12
Summary: Sequel to "Better With You." It's been a year since Isabelle Sheppard moved to Atlantis to live with her father. Things appear to be going well for the Sheppards, but it seems as if the Pegasus Galaxy is doing everything possible to tear them apart. Through mishaps and tragedies, they discover how strong the bond of family truly is.
1. The Last Man & Search and Rescue

**A/N: Hello, everyone! I give you the first installment to the sequel to "Life on Atlantis." You don't have to read the other story first, though it is preferred. You should be able to keep up with the storyline in this story if you have not read the first part in this series. Here's what you'll need to know: John Sheppard has a fourteen-year-old daughter named Izzy. Izzy's boyfriend, Landon Mitchell, is my OC who is Cameron Mitchell's (from Stargate: SG-1) cousin. Jason Markham is Izzy's best friend, and Carson is alive.**

**This starts during the season 4 finale, "The Last Man" and continues through "Search and Rescue" and is mostly from Izzy's point of view. So with no further adieu, I give you "Holding on and Letting Go." **

**Warnings for language.**

**Disclaimer: I only own my OC's, except Izzy Sheppard (the real-life person, not the character in my story :P) is allowed to borrow them :)**

* * *

Chapter 1

Everything was just so _wrong. _

My dad was missing. Teyla was missing. The Athosians were (still) missing. The midway station was destroyed. A serious illness (could more appropriately be described as a plague at this point) was sweeping the galaxy.

Nothing was right anymore.

It started when the midway station was destroyed. Ronon was scheduled to go to Earth for a meeting with the IOA to determine if he would be allowed to remain a member of the Atlantis expedition. The Wraith "hacked the system," so to speak, invaded the midway station, and stepped through the gate to Earth. Ronon and Teal'c thwarted their plan, but the midway station was destroyed, effectively cutting off our easy route home. We now had to resume hitching a ride aboard the Apollo.

A few weeks ago, Teyla started having visions about Kanaan. She traveled to M2S-181 with Dad's team initially, but didn't find anything regarding his or the rest of Athosians' disappearance. After another vision told her she was close to discovering the truth about their whereabouts, she traveled back to the same planet with Major Lorne and his team.

That's when she was taken by Michael.

Her capture nearly destroyed us. Dad became obsessed over her disappearance. He was gone all the time, interrogating potential subjects and searching planets where Michael had suspected compounds. Things kept turning up empty, though, and we began to lose hope.

Then Dad went missing. He's been missing for a week now, but to me, it feels like he's been gone a lot longer than that. He stopped coming in to my room to say goodnight after Teyla went missing. I wondered if his previous absence was my fault; if I had done something that made him upset with me, but I realized after a while that it was not the case. I think it reminded him of Teyla's unborn child, and was thus overwhelmed with feelings of guilt about her disappearance. This wore on me more than I was willing to admit. My favorite part of the day was when my dad would come into my room after I had gotten ready for bed and we would talk about our days. Sometimes we had good days and sometimes we had bad days like any other parent and child, but it was a way for us to bond and spend time together despite his hectic schedule.

This hasn't happened in the past several weeks, though. I missed it greatly, and I wondered if he did, too. I couldn't help but harbor feelings of bitterness toward him because of it. I never saw him, and I felt like I had lost him. I would give anything for these feelings to go away, but they continue to linger. I feel like I'm being pulled underwater, trying so hard to stay above the surface but not having the strength to do so. These events weigh on me so heavily that I wonder how I still find the motivation to live, let alone function fairly normally on a day-to-day basis.

I hold on to the hope that my dad will return soon. The last conversation I had with him before he disappeared plagued my mind. It consumed my thoughts and dreams (when I did sleep, that is) and the guilt was more overwhelming than anything I've experienced before.

"_Dad, I have to talk to you." _

"_Not now, Izzy." _

I couldn't pretend like his words didn't hurt me. They cut deep, almost to my soul, and I stopped short, momentarily stunned by his harshness. He noticed my hesitation and seemed to snap out of whatever introspective state he was in.

"_What?"_

"_I wish you would stop brushing me off all the time." _

Now my words cut him deep, but he denied his feelings by scoffing.

"_Don't be ridiculous, I'm not brushing you off. You know how crazy things have been around here." _

"_Too busy to even acknowledge my existence?" _

"_Izzy – " _

"_Don't bother, John."_

It was a low blow, calling my dad by his first name (since I hadn't done that in weeks now), but I was desperate to get his attention. Even when he was here, he wasn't _here. _Physically speaking, he was present, but his mind was elsewhere. It had become a common thing for him; I just hoped that it wouldn't last for long.

But now he was missing, and I wanted nothing more than to have him back.

* * *

It's been 12 days since he went missing. The past week was brutal. Each day seemed to be longer than the previous. As time went on, my hope that he was still alive started to fade. Search and rescue teams didn't go out as often, and I felt as if a piece of my heart chipped away every time they reported not finding anything.

I was about to go find someone to talk to before Chuck came over my headset.

"Izzy, you're going to want to come to the control room."

I couldn't be certain, but I thought I heard a smile in his voice. Hope sparked in my chest again and I sprinted to the control room, almost knocking over a few scientists who had their nose buried in their tablets on the way.

I stopped short upon entering the control room, noticing a familiar figure making his way toward Sam's office.

"Dad?" I asked. He met me halfway as I [literally] sprinted to him and threw myself in his arms.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I kept saying over and over again.

"You're sorry?" Dad asked incredulously. "Listen, Izzy. We need to talk, but not right now. I have a lot of explaining to do, but right now I need to bring Teyla home."

"You're leaving again?!" I nearly yelled, pulling away from him and ignoring the people who had stopped whatever they were doing to stare at us.

"Izzy. I know that I've been missing for a while and that I was gone a lot before that, but I need you to hang on for a little longer. I know where Teyla is, and I need to bring her home. Please, Izzy. Just a little longer." Dad said, an apologetic and pleading look about him.

I didn't have the heart to be mad at him this time. I could tell he was sincere, so I didn't want to make it harder on him by being mad at him.

"Dad, I – " I started to say, shaking my head.

"Do you trust me?" Dad asked, his voice quiet and his hands on my shoulders.

"Of course." I replied without hesitation.

"Then just give me a few hours, and I'll explain everything." Dad said. He was playing the 'for me' card. Emotional blackmail, that's what it was. I decided to trust him and wait a little longer, hoping that I wouldn't regret it later.

"Okay." I said, stepping forward and receiving the hug that I've needed for so long. I closed my eyes and stayed in the moment for as long as he let me, before he pulled away and framed my face with his hands.

"Just a little longer." He repeated, his eyes pleading with me to trust him.

"Okay." I said, taking a deep breath. I could do this. I knew I could.

* * *

"Damn it!" I sighed, burying my face in my hands. "I can't do this."

"Yes, you can." Jason said.

"No I can't! For all we know, my dad is dead. Evan, Rodney, Ronon, Landon… they're all dead. The fucking building collapsed on them." I shot at Jason, who didn't seem at all phased by my current mood. If anything, he seemed sympathetic.

I had cried every day since my dad went missing, and most days after Teyla went missing. It was exhausting, really, and I wished more than anything for it to stop. I wondered how my body could produce so many tears because I felt like I had already cried out my entire body's water supply. But now the tears were threatening to spill over again, and I was tired of it.

My dad, along with several others went to a planet to find Teyla and bring her home. About an hour later, one of the marines that was on dad's team came through the gate, looking like he had been dragged across the dusty ground and smacked across the head for good measure. He informed us that they made it to Michael's compound but the building collapsed on them. Dr. Keller's off-world medical team, along with some of the combat engineers and Sam went to the planet to search the rubble.

I was a complete mess. I had somehow gone from looking mostly normal to something resembling a homeless person in record time, my day clothes being swapped out for one of my dad's t-shirts, a pair of leggings, and my hair went up into a messy bun. I was a disaster.

I curled into Jason's side where we were sitting on the couch and let myself cry for as long as my body wanted to. If there was anyone I wanted right now, it was Landon, but he went with the group to where my dad said Teyla was going to be, and now he was probably dead, too, along with everyone else. The marine that came through the gate to tell us what happened was barely on his feet, and he was outside the building when it happened. I can only imagine how much worse it would be for the people that were inside.

I stayed curled into Jason's side until I had fallen asleep. Jason had done the same, both of us waking a few hours later. I felt like I couldn't handle the pure agony that I was experiencing for much longer, because I had certainly been put through the wringer in the past few weeks.

It was a difficult position to be in, really, because I wanted things to be _normal. _On the other hand, however, I finally had my dad in my life and I wouldn't trade that for anything. It seemed like I could only have one, and if it came down to it, I would pick staying with my dad in a heartbeat.

I might not have that option anymore, because my dad is probably dead. First my mother, now my father? I didn't know how much more I could take.

Hours went by. I alternated between staring at the wall and staring at the ceiling for the entire day. Jason had work to do, but he would come in and check on me every once in a while. He tried to get me to eat a few times, but my stomach would flip-flop and I turned an unhealthy shade of green at the mere suggestion.

"Izzy, you've gotta eat something." Jason insisted, trying to shove a plate of toast in my hands.

I shook my head stubbornly.

"Look. If you keep losing weight like you have been for the past few weeks, you're going to wither away into nothing, and on top of that, your dad will kill me." Jason argued.

"He can't kill you if he's already dead." I argued.

For once, Jason was speechless. He sat next to me and put his arm on the back of the couch. I stayed where I was, suddenly finding the piece of lint on the floor to be the most fascinating thing in the world. Neither of us spoke, but it was nice to not feel alone.

* * *

Twenty-nine hours after the search and rescue team left to investigate the collapsed building, I was called over the radio. Dr. Beckett asked me to come to the infirmary, but I didn't know why. There were two possibilities.

First, he might want to do a physical to make sure that I'm not going to drop over dead in the next few minutes from malnutrition or dehydration. Word has probably spread that I haven't been eating well in the past two weeks, since that's what usually happened when some crisis occurred. It's not like I could help it. The anti-nausea medicine wasn't working so I ended up puking out anything I ate or drank. After a while, I just stopped trying.

Second, the rescue team might be back… with or without my dad. I knew that if my dad was okay then he would have come to see me himself. But the fact of the matter remained: a building collapsed, my dad (along with nearly every person I loved) was inside, the search and rescue team had been gone for 29 hours, and Dr. Beckett wanted to see me in the infirmary.

I took my time getting there. I knew that it wasn't going to be good one way or the other, and I wanted to delay the inevitable for as long as possible. But once again, I was in a place that I didn't want to be in. I hated the infirmary, because the only times I was in there was when dad was hurt, I was hurt, or if Carson insisted on poking me with his seemingly endless supply of needles.

My second assumption was correct. My dad was alive, but quite obviously in bad shape. They were moving him from a gurney to a hospital bed, and when I finally got a good look at him I felt the color drain from my face. He had a long cut down the side of his head and was covered in bruises and dirt. I couldn't see the extent of his injuries, but there was a large bandage soaked in blood on his side.

I took a deep breath and stepped outside, knowing that I wouldn't be able to get close for a while. They still had to clean him up, change him into scrubs, and maybe give him some medication. It would be a little while. Their trip to get Teyla wasn't in vain, though. Through the unfortunate circumstances, they were able to rescue Teyla from Michael, who had since had her baby.

Evan made it out alive, but he had a broken leg and a concussion. Rodney had a small cut on his forehead, but was otherwise unscathed. Ronon had a few cuts on his arms and a large cut on his head but was already arguing with the infirmary staff, so I knew he was going to be fine. After thinking about it, I realized that Landon wasn't in the infirmary. I started to panic and barged into the infirmary, moving from bed to be trying to find him. He was no where to be found.

"Carson!" I called, edging into a full-blown panic attack. His blue eyes snapped to mine, and he instantly knew that something was wrong based on my tone of voice. "Where's Landon?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but I heard a different voice from behind me… a familiar voice; a voice that I trusted.

"Izzy?" I whipped around and started to cry, relief permeating to my soul.

"Landon?" I asked disbelievingly. I held on to him tightly, despite the fact that he was covered in dirt, mud, and sweat, afraid that if I let him go then I would realize that it was all just a dream… that he _had _died and that I wasn't being held in his arms.

"I thought… I thought…" I said, not being able to say that I thought he was dead.

"I thought so, too." Landon said, kissing my cheek.

"Why did it take you so long to get here?" I asked, referring to how everyone else was already being examined and he was just now coming into the room.

"I'm sorry. I ran into Jason in the hallway." He said. I chuckled, because that seemed like such a normal occurrence despite the fact that a building almost squashed him yesterday.

I finally let him go, but not willingly. Dr. Keller tapped me on the shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Izzy, but we have to check him out to make sure he's all right. Okay?" She asked. I nodded in understanding, smiling in embarrassment and wiping at my cheeks. "Carson is finished with your dad for now, so why don't you go see him." She suggested. I looked at Landon who nodded, communicating to me that he would be all right for the time being.

I took a deep breath and went into the other section of the infirmary where my dad was. I felt myself beginning to tear up again but I took a deep breath, containing the tears for now.

"Dad?" I asked, approaching the bed. For the first time in what was probably weeks, I felt my body relax completely. I was somewhat pained at my dad's injuries, but he was going to be fine.

"Hey, kiddo. I'm okay." He consoled, noticing my pained expression.

"You don't look okay." I reasoned taking a seat in the chair next to the bed.

"I've had worse." He said, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips.

"Well, I don't know how since you barely seem alive right now."

Dad sighed but patted the side of the bed that wasn't his wounded side. I climbed up next to him and relaxed into his side and rested my head on his chest, listening to his heart beat and reassuring myself that he was still living… still breathing.

Still my dad.

I realized that this was only the second time in several weeks that I had hugged him, and it was then that I realized how much I had needed it. When I'm in my dad's arms, it seems as if there's nothing in the world that's too big to handle. All my problems vanish and I am reassured that I will always have a home.

I let myself stay like this for a while, both of us needing the contact. Dad was going to have surgery soon, and I knew that after surgery was over and he was feeling up to it we would be having quite possibly the longest conversation we have ever had. There was a lot that needed to be discussed, but for now, I continue to reassure myself that my dad is home, and that's enough for me.

* * *

**A/N: Welcome new readers! I hope that you enjoyed this first installment to the "Life on Atlantis" sequel. To those who have read the story and are joining me for this one… THANK YOU! Your support means the world to me. Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts. I look forward to hearing from all of you! **


	2. Choosing Forgiveness

**Warnings for suicide by sleeping pills.**

* * *

Chapter 2 – Choosing Forgiveness

John surfaced slowly, enjoying a few moments of ignorant bliss before the previous days' events came crashing back. He was sent to the future as a result of a solar flare interfering with the wormhole connection between gates. Rodney was there (in the future) in the form of a hologram, and he told John how the future progressed for each member of John's team. None of the timelines disturbed John as much as Izzy's did.

"_Tell me about Izzy, Rodney." _

"_Are you sure you want to know?" _

"_If something happened to my daughter and there's a way for me to prevent it, I want to know about it." _

"_Well after you, Teyla, and Ronon died, she started to doubt a lot of things… mostly about how it seemed that the people closest to her always died. She broke up with Landon and isolated herself from everyone, including Jason and Carson, only leaving her quarters to eat. The IOA permitted her to stay on Atlantis, but it took some convincing from several different members of the expedition. It wasn't the same for her, though, and she ended up…" _

"_She ended up what, Rodney?" _

"_She stole sleeping pills from the infirmary… took them all at once. Guess she didn't have a reason to live anymore. Unfortunately, they found her too late, so there was nothing they could do." _

John swallowed thickly, replaying the conversation in his head. He couldn't shake the mental image of his daughter dying… by suicide nonetheless. If there was anything that could convince him to be a little more careful and a little less reckless, this definitely could.

After feeling pressure against his side and a weight on his chest, he looked down and saw a familiar mop of blonde hair. He carefully removed his arm and wrapped it around Izzy rather than having it wedged between them. John took a deep breath and tried to calm his ragged breathing that resulted from Rodney's disturbing description of her future and reassured himself that his daughter was here and she was _fine. _But just to be sure, John watched her carefully and breathed an inaudible sigh of relief at the sight of her body expanding and contracting slowly with the rhythm of her breaths.

She was fine.

"Colonel?" Dr. Beckett asked, appearing around the corner.

"Doc." John replied, his voice hoarse from sleeping.

"How are you feeling?" Carson asked, moving to stand next to the bed.

"I've been better." John said. Carson rolled his eyes. John and Izzy both had a habit of downplaying their injuries and neglecting to tell him exactly what was wrong with them.

"Side's a little sore, headache, tired." John said, noticing Carson's expression.

"Well I can give you some more morphine if you need it." Carson said.

John shook his head. "I'm fine." Morphine made him loopy and tired, so he rarely took it unless the pain was excruciating.

Carson glanced at Izzy and was surprised that she was still sleeping throughout the commotion. He supposed he shouldn't have been, though, because she had been awake for nearly three days as a result of worry for her father.

"How long has she been here?" John asked.

Carson glanced at his watch. "About four hours. She fell asleep here shortly after your surgery finished. I woke her up and asked if she wanted me to wheel a gurney in here, but she just shook her head and fell back to sleep."

John nodded, pleased that she had come despite the fact that he had failed in the parenting department for the past few weeks. Carson smiled and left, leaving the Sheppards to their own devices. It was the middle of the night, so John leaned his head back and slipped off to sleep, satisfied with the situation for the time being.

* * *

Two days passed and Izzy was anxious to talk to John. She had questions that needed answering, but she didn't want to ask John while he was still in the infirmary. They were releasing him today, so she supposed that he would want to talk later on in the day.

A few hours passed. Izzy had sparred with Landon, taken a nap, and was now wrapped in a blanket reading a book in the library. She was trying (and somewhat succeeding) to distract herself from thinking about the conversation that would inevitably happen at some point in the near future. Some of her questions were answered by Carson, but she still had questions about what happened to John for two weeks since no one seemed to know; or was willing to tell her.

The door opened, and she glanced up and smiled at John in acknowledgemen

"Thought I would find you here." John said, sitting on the couch next to Izzy.

"It's quiet in here. Needed some time to be alone." Izzy said, closing 'Great Expectations' for the time being. John nodded.

"I think we need to talk." John stated, his voice gentle and cautious.

"Yeah." Izzy agreed, preparing herself for whatever was about to take place.

"What do you want to know first?" John asked, putting his arm on the back of the couch and turning so that he was facing her a little better. He did it intentionally, hoping to seem apologetic and understanding rather than distant and confrontational like he had been the past few weeks. Maybe then she would open up to him and tell him what she was feeling rather than shrug it off and continue to be angry with him.

"What happened when you went missing?" Izzy asked, wrapping the blanket around her a little more tightly.

"A solar flare interfered with the wormhole and sent me several thousand years into the future." John explained carefully, knowing that Izzy would have a hard time wrapping her mind around the concept.

"How is that possible?" Izzy asked.

"Not sure, but that's what happened. Or, that's what Rodney told me anyway." John said.

"Rodney?" Izzy asked, not sure what he was talking about. "Rodney was here though, he wasn't with you."

"Well, there was a hologram version of Rodney where I was. He explained everything that happened and had a way for me to get back. He put me in stasis for a few hundred years until there was another solar flare with the exact dimensions of the first one to send me back to the present time. It was a few days off, but it worked." John said, trying to figure out how to explain the situation to Izzy in a way she would understand it. She was smart, but she still didn't know nearly as much as the rest of them did.

"Oh." Izzy said, shaking her head at the seeming impossibility of all of it. The Pegasus Galaxy surprised her sometimes, despite the fact that she had been a resident of it for a little over a year.

After a few moments, John sighed. "I'm sorry, Iz." He said, his voiced laced with regret.

Izzy looked at him and knew he was sincere, but despite that, the feelings of bitterness and hurt that she felt because of the way he kept brushing her off for several weeks came back to the surface from where she had buried them deep inside her.

"I brushed you aside, stopped coming in to see you before going to bed, and was consumed with other things when I should have spent time with you, and I'm sorry." John said, his voice cracking at the end of the sentence.

Izzy couldn't help it; she let a few tears escape. She had been waiting for her father to say this for weeks now, and now that he finally had, she didn't know how she felt about it. Relieved for sure, but she could sense a different emotion in her that should couldn't pinpoint. Sympathy, perhaps? Sympathy for the amount of work he had on his plate at all times, plus the fact that Teyla went missing and having to be a father and the commanding military officer and the second in command… it had to be exhausting.

Izzy didn't have the energy or desire to speak, so she nodded at John and leaned into his side. They sat like that for a few minutes, neither of them speaking. Izzy had been making an effort to forgive her father despite how he's treated her the past few weeks, and even though it was hard, it was better than being mad at him. Not only did anger exhaust her, it affected her other relationships as well. If she were angry with John, she would most likely take that anger out on other people… and that never got her anywhere.

"I was just scared." Izzy said, taking a deep breath. "You were gone all the time, and I never knew when you were coming or going, and sometimes I had nightmares about you or Teyla dying, but you were never in your room so I couldn't fall back to sleep sometimes…."

John held Izzy a little tighter and his chest clenched at everything his daughter was going through. Throughout Teyla's search he had been so focused on finding her and bringing her back home that he neglected to consider the fact that other people were having a hard time dealing with it as well. Teyla and Izzy were close. He knew that most people considered Izzy to be a little sister, but with Teyla it was different. Izzy didn't have a mother anymore, and sometimes she considered Teyla as someone who could never replace her mother, but one that came close. Sometimes Izzy needed to talk to another woman, and she almost always went to Teyla. Her disappearance nearly broke her, and having her father ignore her on top of that made everything more difficult.

"Guess I failed in the parenting department, huh?" John asked, rubbing Izzy's shoulder.

Izzy snorted. "Yeah… kind of."

"I really am sorry, Izzy." John said, dropping a kiss to the top of her head. Izzy nodded against him but didn't say anything, so John was willing to let the matter drop. After a few moments of silence, Izzy spoke.

"Come on, I want to show you something." Izzy said, tugging at John's hand.

John had a pretty good idea of where they were going once they had been walking for a couple minutes, but didn't know what Izzy wanted to show him. He kept trying to guess, but after Izzy gave him a look that clearly said 'stop-guessing-because-I-want-to-surprise-you', he stopped asking.

"I know it's a few days late, but since I was mad at you I didn't want to give you anything because then I wouldn't be mad at you anymore." Izzy said, trying and failing to explain what she was about to show him.

A few days late? John had no idea what she was talking about, but he guessed that rolling with it would be the best option at this point. Izzy waved her hand over the room to their quarters and disappeared into her room, John lingering in the doorway. After a few seconds of digging through her closet, she pulled out a brown package and walked over to John.

"Happy Birthday, Dad." Izzy said, handing John the package and turning a brilliant shade of pink. "I wasn't sure if I should get you something because I wanted it to be special but I didn't know what to get you so I thought I wouldn't get you anything since no one keeps track of the days around here anyways and I don't have any money or anything to trade – "

"Breathe, Izzy." John said, rubbing her shoulder. Izzy smiled shyly and was wringing her hands together nervously as he opened the package.

"I hope you like it." Izzy said quietly. _I'm sure he'll like it because it's from you_, the sometimes extremely unhelpful part of her brain supplied.

John had completely forgotten about his birthday, but he was absolutely floored that she got him something, let alone even _remembered_. It had been a while since anyone had remembered his birthday, so after a while it became less of a big deal – it was just like any other day.

Inside the package was a scrapbook. He flipped open the cover and what he saw nearly brought him to tears. On the first page was her birth certificate, her tiny footprint, and a picture of Darcy holding Izzy. John's chest clenched at the sight… he should have been there for that, and the fact that he wasn't (because Darcy neglected to tell him he had a child) brought his previously buried feelings of anger and regret back to the surface.

"I guess it was hard in the beginning." Izzy said, leaning against him and resting her head on his shoulder. "There was a hole in my heart, so I had to have surgery a couple days after I was born."

John froze at this. He had known her for a little over a year now and she never mentioned her early health difficulties. "Why didn't you tell me?" John asked.

"I don't know. I don't remember it and I'm past it now so I didn't think it was important." Izzy said, shrugging.

John flipped to the next page. Izzy was a few months old and was wearing a blue dress with sunflowers on it. She was wearing a hat with a sunflower on it to match and was grinning at the camera, only two teeth visible at that point. John chuckled at the picture.

"I hate that outfit. I have no idea why mom put me in the clothes that she did." Izzy said, rolling her eyes.

"It's not all that bad." John responded.

"The sunflower on the hat is almost bigger than my head!" Izzy exclaimed.

"Okay, you've got a point there." John chuckled, turning to the next page.

"This was when I cracked my head open when I was three. Apparently the kitchen table was about the same height as me." Izzy said. John was slightly comforted that her injuries were common even in her childhood days and that they all weren't a result of the Pegasus Galaxy.

"Ouch." John replied.

The scrapbook had pictures through every developmental stage in her life. There were important "firsts" included: first steps, first time riding a bike without training wheels, first lost tooth, first day of school, first soccer game… and those were only naming a few.

Near the back of the book was a picture that hit John like a ton of bricks. He hadn't realized the significance of it until Izzy told him that it was the last picture of her and her mother together. He didn't miss the sadness behind her voice. He knew that she regretted some things in life, the biggest of which being her weak relationship with her mother. Izzy loved her mother, she really did, but she often felt as though her mother would put her career before her. The picture was taken after Izzy's championship soccer game, and she had made the varsity's first all-star team despite the fact that she was a freshman. John filled with pride. He knew she was very athletic (she got that from him), so it didn't come as a surprise to him, but it made him proud nonetheless.

"That was the only time my mom saw me play." Izzy sighed.

John put his arm around her shoulder, kissing the side of her head before turning his attention back to the book.

In the back of the book were pictures that were recent: first picture with John, a picture of her and John sparring, and John's personal favorite, the picture that Rodney took on the mainland when they all went for a mandated personal day. It seemed cheesy, but John loved it. He was wearing a white oxford shirt and khaki shorts, and Izzy was wearing a navy tank top with light yellow shorts. The sun had started to set in the background, and Izzy was grinning widely while John wore a small, yet sincere smile. Izzy said it was because he was trying to be cool, but John denied it. He said he didn't look good when he smiled, prompting a laugh from Izzy.

John truly loved the gift that she gave him. He realized that this was Izzy trying to make a step towards mending their relationship that had been suffering for the past several weeks, and he was blown away at the thought and the maturity behind her gift. She gave him herself, and in the pages he had everything he needed to acquaint himself with her life before she entered his.

"Thank you, Izzy. I love it." John said, wrapping his arm around her again.

"Really?" Izzy asked.

"Really. I don't think you could have given me a better gift." John said honestly.

At that moment, Izzy was glad that she had given him the scrapbook despite their rocky relationship. Growing up in the Pegasus Galaxy definitely had its drawbacks with the terrifying alien entities, the Wraith, and other dangerous things that weren't found on Earth, but she found stability with her dad amidst the chaos. She often took this for granted, but it was in these rare moments that she was reminded of all the reasons why she should be grateful.

* * *

**A/N: WOW! I'm absolutely blown away at the response to this story! Thank you for the follows, favorites, and reviews!**

**Thanks to: CanadianHalliwell, ChaoChao42, Ellie Elf, KallenStadtfeldViBritannia, Mone123, Piero217, UNSC UNDEAD BOOMER, crazygal17, csweeting2, dani2theela, dest03yer, emergency70, iltanen, jwozniakpa, katniss12, musiclover555, se2zno, skyejag, srachelm, and thewolf74 for following!**

**Thanks to: CaveCoding, ChaoChao42, KallenStadtfeldViBritannia, Kim O'Neill, Mone123, Piero217, WhiteWolfWoman, cherychou1, csweetin2, dani2theela, and thewolf74 for favoriting!**

**Special thanks to those who REVIEWED!**

**princesslolitatheorca654: Thank you so much for reviewing! I'm glad you liked it, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well. **

**thewolf74: I definitely could not have torn Izzy and John apart. Not only would my followers be mad at me, but I'm pretty sure I would be mad at myself, too. **** Thanks for joining me in this next installment! I hope you continue to enjoy the story!**

**guardianranger: Whoa! Thanks for jumping over to this fic as well! So excited for you to join me on this journey.**

**dani2theela: Thanks for sticking with my story! I'm so thrilled at the amount of people who are following this story as well. I really hope that you continue to enjoy it! **

**OMG (EvanMalfoy): Thanks for the review! They [still] make me laugh. Enthusiasm is awesome… keep 'em coming, dude. **

**csweeting2: Thanks so much for your support! I never knew how much I enjoyed writing until I started getting so much positive feedback from everyone. I hope you continue to enjoy **

**izzysheppard: Dude… I freaking love you. You're awesome! I actually contemplated whether or not I was going to make her swear for a really long time (like… sat here and stared at my screen for like 10 minutes) and decided to go with it. Maybe in some future chapters I'll reference those episodes. I kind of got ahead of myself a few times and skipped those ones… oops… or maybe I'll go back and write a "special edition" episode. Like a oneshot? Heck. I don't know. Whatevs. Glad you like the title… and I'm really glad you like my stories :P**

**Adela: Thanks for the review, and thank you so much for joining me on this new installment! Your support is so encouraging. Thank you!**


	3. Prophecy

**A/N: The idea from this chapter came from an SG-1 episode from season 6 ("Prophecy").**

* * *

Chapter 3 - Prophecy

Izzy walked the short distance down the hall to Teyla's door and hesitated briefly before raising her hand to ring the chime. It sounded, and a few moments later, the doors slid open to reveal an exhausted Teyla.

"Izzy? Come in." Teyla said, stepping off to the side and allowing Izzy to enter the room.

"Hi. Sorry it's taken so long for me to come see you. I've been… preoccupied." Izzy said, smiling slightly in embarrassment.

"It's all right, Izzy. I understand." Teyla said, smiling in sympathy. A small wail sounded from the crib nearby, and Teyla sprang into action, stooping to scoop up her new baby in her arms.

"What's his name?" Izzy asked, reaching out a finger and smiling when he grasped it tightly in his hand.

"Torren John Emmagen." Teyla replied, smiling at Izzy. Torren had since stopped crying, apparently wanting nothing more than his mother.

"John as in…"

"Yes." Teyla agreed. "Is that all right with you?"

"I think it's perfect." Izzy said, tears in her eyes and a smile on her face.

"Would you like to hold him?" Teyla asked.

"Uh… sure." Izzy said, moving to sit on the edge of Teyla's bed. Teyla gently placed a tightly-swaddled Torren in Izzy's arms and sat next to her, both watching Torren as he observed his environment.

"Hey, TJ. I'm Izzy." Izzy said, placing her finger in Torren's hand once again. Teyla laughed quietly at Izzy's new nickname.

"You are a natural." Teyla said. "Normally he would begin crying at this point when a stranger is holding him."

"Really?" Izzy asked, pleased that she was handling the baby well.

"Indeed. He likes you." Teyla said, rubbing Izzy's back briefly.

"How's Kanaan?" Izzy asked, watching in amazement at how Torren seemed to be drifting off to sleep.

"He is doing quite well." Teyla said. "He is almost back to his old self, and once Dr. Beckett administers his last treatment, he will be allowed to return to Atlantis to be with us."

"Good." Izzy said. The smile hadn't left her face since she first laid eyes on Torren. "How's the post partum?"

Teyla tilted her head and looked at her in confusion. Izzy deduced that "post partum" was a term that was not used among the Athosians. "It's a term we use to describe a woman's recovery after giving birth."

"Oh." Teyla said, smiling softly. "I'm doing well. I feel like I'm slowly getting back to my old self, just with a new addition." She said, smiling at Torren lovingly.

"How about your people?" Izzy asked, noticing the tone shift from speaking of joyous things to speaking of something that haunted them to their very core.

"I gave Colonel Carter the gate address to the planet where Michael has been keeping them. Some of them were on board the Wraith ship when it was destroyed, but most of them will be on that planet. From my understanding, Colonel Carter will be sending a rescue team and they will be brought back here and undergo a series of treatments to get the ones who had been experimented on by Michael back to their old selves." Teyla explained, her eyes growing dark.

Izzy nodded before passing a sleeping Torren back to Teyla.

"Thanks for letting me hold him, Teyla. I hope your people are okay." Izzy said, standing to leave. Teyla nodded in thanks and said goodbye, and Izzy left.

* * *

"Hey, Rodney. You wanted to see me?" Izzy asked, taking a seat near Rodney in his lab.

"Yeah, I need you to test something for me." Rodney said, not glancing up from where he was hunched over his computer.

"Okay." Izzy said cautiously. "Doesn't my dad usually do that stuff for you?"

"He's in a meeting." Rodney said. "Here."

Izzy took the device from his hands. "Why aren't you testing it yourself?"

"If I'm testing it, then who's going to monitor the levels or record the results? Plus, your gene is nearly as strong as your dad's so it would be better for you to test it anyways." Rodney asked in the tone he used when someone was asking him a 'stupid' question.

"What's it supposed to do?" Izzy asked, turning it around in her hands.

"Not sure yet." Rodney said. "Try turning it on."

Izzy sighed but focused on turning the device on. The tingling started in her fingers first before she felt like a bolt of electricity had zapped her. Her vision went black and she sank to the ground.

* * *

"What did you do?" John nearly roared as he came into the infirmary, coming to a halt in front of a pacing Rodney.

"Colonel – John. I am _so _sorry. I didn't think anything would happen. She was just testing this device for me and then she sank to the ground. Oh my god I can't believe I let this happen." Rodney said, rambling and shrinking away from John's menacing gaze.

If looks could kill, Rodney would be dead on the floor.

"What device was she testing?" John asked, the veins in his neck and forehead clearly indicating that he was not happy about how the situation was developing.

"I don't know – " Rodney started.

"You let her test an Ancient device and you didn't even know what it did?" John asked disbelievingly.

"Well I had a pretty good idea but the database said that it was relatively harmless." Rodney claimed, a bead of sweat trickling down the side of his forehead.

"Relatively harmless?" John asked disbelievingly.

"Well so far 'relatively harmless' has been completely harmless in previous devices until now. I didn't think she would go unconscious from it!" Rodney claimed.

John wanted to beat Rodney to a pulp right there in the infirmary, but restrained himself knowing that he would more-than-likely regret it later. Perhaps Izzy passing out and putting him through this anxious misery was punishment enough?

* * *

Izzy cracked open her eyes, her body feeling mostly uninjured other than the jackhammer in her skull. Her vision was still blurry from sleep, so she closed them again, trying to allow her body to wake up. She wiggled her fingers, trying to get the tingling out of them. She heard Rodney rambling about something, but she wasn't awake enough to figure out what he was saying. She heard another voice – John – and decided that all she really wanted to do was wake up so she could figure out what was going on and why someone decided to take an icepick to the front of her skull.

After trying in vain to use her voice after her vision cleared enough to indicate she was in the infirmary, she went into a coughing fit.

John moved to stand beside Izzy's bed, his anger at Rodney forgotten for the moment. He poured a cup of water from the pitcher that was next to the bed and handed it to her, Izzy drinking it greedily.

"What happened?" Izzy asked after clearing her throat from the phlegm resulting from being unconscious for a little while.

"You took a header in Rodney's lab after testing a previously untested device." John said, glaring at Rodney who looked marginally relieved that she was awake and seemed to be doing fine.

Carson appeared around the corner at the sound of activity.

"Izzy," he said, strapping on a pair of gloves. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine except for the tingling in my fingers and the icepick in the front of my skull." She replied. Carson checked her vitals while Rodney and John stood off to the side silently. Rodney was clearly worried that John was going to do something to him – maybe cause some sort of physical injury – while John was contemplating if he was going to do anything to Rodney or not. He figured that Izzy landing in the infirmary was punishment for him enough since he hadn't stopped rambling about it since he got here. The sweat on his forehead and the way he kept pinching his lower lip with his fingers indicated that he was extremely anxious about the situation, even more so than John, it seemed.

"Well everything seems normal except for your occipital lobe, which is significantly more active than usual. Probably explains your headache." Carson said, pointing to the area at the front of her skull on a printout from the brain scan.

"Is that bad?" Izzy asked.

"Not necessarily. But, we'll keep an eye on it." Carson said, smiling at her reassuringly. "I'll want you to check in every 8 hours for a couple days, but other than that, you're free to go about your day."

Izzy swallowed thickly, feeling anxious about her situation. John squeezed her hand, and she gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile. She would be fine, right?

* * *

Izzy took a bite out of an apple before rounding the corner to John's office. She waved her hand over the panel, sliding the door open.

"Hey, kiddo." John said, looking up from his stack of paperwork. "Feeling okay?"

"Headache is mostly gone." Izzy said, shrugging and sitting on the corner of John's desk after he had cleared a spot. She was about to say something but froze when she had a vision of some sort.

_Izzy was looking at a book in the library when Landon came in and leaned against the doorframe._

"_Hey, you want to grab some lunch? It's hamburgers today." _

"Izzy?" John asked, putting his hand on her leg to get her attention. "What's wrong?"

"Huh?" Izzy asked, snapping back to reality.

"Are you okay?" John asked, worry evident in the crinkle around his eyes and in the way his pitch was a tad higher than normal.

"Yeah." She said. "I'm good."

"Are you sure?" John asked.

"Yup."

John looked skeptical but he nodded. "Okay."

"Are you heading out soon?" Izzy asked, changing the subject. She didn't want to tell John what happened until she was sure that it actually happened. It was so brief that she wondered if she imagined it or if it was even real.

"Yeah." John said. "We're going to be checking out some planets for the Athosians to go to once they've finished treatments."

"Oh. That's cool." Izzy said. "Are they doing okay?"

"Yeah. Some of them had it worse off than others, but things should be back to normal before too long. Hopefully without any lasting effects."

"That's good." Izzy said, hopping off the desk. "Radio me when you're heading out?"

"Of course." John said, standing to give her a quick hug. Izzy liked being present when John was coming or going through the gate. Somehow it helped ease her anxious nerves, even though watching him go was the hardest part.

Izzy made her way to the library, intent on distracting herself from the annoying tickle she had in the back of her mind that was telling her something was wrong. She had never experienced anything like what just happened in John's office. It was almost like she had a brief dream, though she was awake.

She found a book and flipped it open, not realizing that it was the same book she saw in her dream before she picked it out. She narrowed her eyes and tilted her head slightly in confusion before the door slid open, revealing Landon.

"Hey, you want to grab some lunch? It's hamburgers today." Landon said, leaning against the doorframe. Izzy stared at him in bewilderment.

"I knew you were going to say that." Izzy said, closing the book she was holding, her brow furrowed in confusion and alarm.

"What?" Landon asked.

"Just now, when you came in. I knew you were going to say that."

"You mean like déjà vu?" Landon asked, putting his hands in his pockets and coming to stand in front of her.

"I don't know. Maybe." Izzy said, putting the book back on the shelf.

As much as Izzy tried to ignore the tickle in the back of her mind, she couldn't. She only got through three bites of her hamburger before she had another vision.

_Izzy was walking through the hallway near her quarters when she was suddenly met with a figure in front of her. Tensing in panic, she tried to spin out of the way but ended up tripping on the person's foot. She thought she was going to end up on the floor in a heap but was caught instead. _

"_Whoa, easy there clumsy. Are you okay?" he asked. Izzy recognized that the voice belonged to Jason and relaxed marginally._

She froze in her seat before snapping out of the vision. Landon was staring at her, the creases in his forehead indicating that he was worried.

"Are you okay?" He asked, noting that something was off about the way she was acting.

"Yeah." Izzy replied unconvincingly. She didn't touch the rest of her lunch, and she could tell that Landon wanted to say something about it but was holding his tongue.

"I've got a meeting to go to. Spar later?" Landon asked.

"Yeah." Izzy agreed. She wasn't sure how focused she would be, but she could at least try. "See you then."

Landon opened his mouth to say something else, but Izzy seemed to be lost in thought so he walked away.

Izzy left the mess hall shortly thereafter and made her way to the pier to try to get her mind off the visions she was having and the relentless headache that hadn't gone away since she woke up in the infirmary. She swung by her quarters to grab a jacket and started making her way to the pier again.

Izzy was lost in thought when she rounded a corner and was startled by nearly running headfirst into the person in front of her. She tried to spin out of the way but tripped over the person's foot. At this point she realized it was the exact same thing that happened in her vision. She knew that the person she nearly ran into was Jason, and she wasn't surprised when he caught her before she landed in a heap on the floor.

"Whoa, easy there clumsy. Are you okay?" Jason asked, putting his hands on her arms to steady her.

"Oh, no no no no no. This can't be happening." Izzy said, putting her hands on her head and pacing in the hall.

"Am I missing something?" Jason asked. "I heard you passed out. Are you okay?"

"If I tell you something, can you promise not to freak out?" Izzy asked, knowing that she needed to tell _someone. _Something was _definitely_ wrong.

"Of course." Jason said.

"Okay, so I've been having these visions." Izzy said, waving her hand vaguely.

"About what?"

"Future events. It's happened twice."

Jason's brow furrowed, silently asking for a deeper explanation.

"The first one happened when I was sitting in my dad's office. The vision was when I was in the library and Landon came in and asked if I wanted to go get lunch because it was hamburgers that day. I thought it was just a déjà vu thing at first, but at lunch I had a vision that I ran into you in the hallway. Both situations were _exactly _what I saw in my vision." Izzy explained, her fear growing as she explained what was happening to Jason.

"Have you told your dad about this?" Jason asked, concern evident on his face.

"No, not yet." Izzy said, absent-mindedly scratching at her arm.

"I think you should." Jason suggested. "Because being able to see the future isn't normal."

"Yeah, probably." Izzy said.

"I mean now." Jason said, knowing that this went above and beyond the normal Pegasus creepy and into something far more dangerous. If he learned anything from his time in the Pegasus Galaxy it was that time is of the essence. If situations weren't attended to early enough, it could get much worse, sometimes to the point of even death.

"You think I should tell him now?" Izzy asked.

"Yes." Jason replied without hesitation.

"Like, right right now?"

"Like, you should walk down to his office and tell him right now." Jason said.

"Ah, fine. You're so annoying." Izzy said, glaring at him in mock annoyance, though the anxiety she was experiencing was still clear on her face.

"Sometimes I try to be. Other times it just happens." Jason said. "Not get on down there before I drag you there myself."

"Fine." Izzy sulked, turning and walking towards John's office.

"Let me know how it goes." Jason said, patting Izzy's shoulder.

Izzy made her way to John's office. She would have told him regardless of whether Jason made her, but it was comforting knowing that she was making the right decision. Even though John told her time and time again to come to him if she was having a problem, she still didn't want to worry or burden him with her problems when he already had so much on his plate.

John was about to leave to explore a planet for the Athosians when his office door slid open, revealing Izzy. She wasted no time in curling into a ball in the chair in front of his desk. He can't remember a time when she looked so vulnerable or terrified before.

"What's wrong?" John asked, coming to kneel in front of her chair immediately.

"Something's wrong with me." Izzy said, her voice small and her eyes wide. Now that the adrenaline of realizing that something was wrong wore off, terror set in and she was having a difficult time coping.

"Tell me about it." John said insistently yet gently so as to not scare her more than she already was.

"I've been having these visions." Izzy said quietly. John had to put more effort than normal into hearing because of how quietly she was talking. "The first one happened when I was in your office and you asked if something was wrong. I didn't know what it was so I didn't say anything. In my vision I was in the library when Landon came in and asked if I wanted to get lunch because it was hamburgers today. The second vision I was walking through the halls when I almost ran into Jason and tried to spin out of the way but ended up tripping on his foot. He caught me before I hit the floor, then said 'Whoa, easy there clumsy. Are you okay?' Both times the _exact _same thing happened."

Seeing future events in a vision was cool, but she knew that it wasn't normal. And if her growing headache was any indication of how her body was reacting to it, then she knew that they needed to figure out how to make it go away _fast_ or there was going to be serious trouble.

Izzy expected every reaction from John except the one he gave her. He didn't laugh, scoff, or tell her that she was just 'stressed.' He did, however, take her hands between his own as she carefully watched him think through what she just told him. He didn't fight the rising urge to comfort his aching child, and his mind whirled at the dozens of possibilities that could come as a result of this. He knew that this wasn't normal – even for the Pegasus galaxy – and even though he was still angry with Mckay, he knew that he would need him as well as several other people to get to the bottom of this.

They were gonna fix it… they better damn well fix it.

"I think it has to do with the thing from Rodney's lab." Izzy said quietly. "That's the only thing that makes sense."

John pulled Izzy into his arms. He knew she was scared… he could see it written all over her face. He was worried that something like this was going to happen from the moment that Carson said a part of her brain was more active than normal, and he hated that his gut instinct was right. He felt Izzy take a shuddering breath, so he wrapped his arms around her a little more tightly and gently shushed her before speaking.

"It's going to be fine." John said, and while Izzy was doubtful, she trusted him. That's what it boiled down to, really: did she trust her father? She did without an ounce of doubt in her soul, and if he said that it was going to be fine, then things were going to be fine.

Hopefully.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry this took me a month. Real life got in the way. On the plus side, I'm now the proud aunt of a perfect baby boy! I've been traveling home a lot because of that, which is why I haven't updated. Most of the next chapter is already written, so it'll be coming soon. I was going to make the next chapter a part of this one, but since it was already ten pages long I decided to call it a night. Review, review, review… the more reviews I get the faster the next chapter will be posted! **

**How about this for incentive? Ten reviews and I'll post the next chapter by the weekend :D**

**Thanks to... auStraliS23, msgone, lovesanimals, kaledonia, Anisoka280, HorseMagic17, Mitchrapp666, Princess-Amon-Rae, kylieag77, and guardianranger for FOLLOWING!**

**Thanks to... Anisoka280, HorseMagic17, Princess-Amon-Rae, and guardianranger for FAVORITING!**

**Super mega special thanks to...**

**thewolf74: Thank you so so so much for the faithful reviews! I'm glad you continue to enjoy the story. Stay tuned for more twists and turns. :)**

**Adela: Thank you! You are incredible for reviewing. I'm so happy that people enjoy the story. Let me know if that ever changes ;)**

**Diddy: Not gonna lie, I had a throwback moment to when I was like five and I played Diddy Kong Racing with my older brother on our Nintendo 64. ANYHEW. Thank you SO much for the kind review! I'm glad you're hooked. I hope it stays that way. :)**

**Guest: You've been reading since the very beginning?! NO WAY! You have no idea how happy that makes me. I guess I won't have to try to convince you to keep on reading, eh? :)**

**Guest: Whoa. I had to read that review several times. I'm so honored and flattered that you read the whole thing in just a few days? That's some serious commitment! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I'm sorry the updates have been slow for this one, but I hope I can pick up the speed a little bit here... stay tuned for more!**

**OMG: Thanks, yo! So basically, you and Izzy should just get married. She's pretty BA. :P I'm so glad you like this. So, so humbled. Thanks for the awesome review!**

**kaledonia: Thank you for the review! I was kind of bummed at myself for not showing more of their relationship, but Teyla is a difficult character to write... that's my excuse, anyways. I plan on showing a lot more of her and Izzy's relationship in this story! And perhaps... PERHAPS... there will be Sheyla down the road. I haven't decided yet. D:**

**Princess-Amon-Rae: I love it when new users pop on in my inbox saying they reviewed! I'm so humbled that you enjoyed the previous installment and I hope that continues! My apologies for not getting this up sooner. See excuses above. :P**

**csweeting2: Thank you so very much! I'm humbled that you have read my story so many times! You've honestly probably read it more times than I have. :P I'm sorry for the slow updates. Thanks for sticking in there, though!**

**guardianranger: Thanks for the review! And guess what? The first chapter in the "Sincerely, Me" rewrite is coming in a couple days! It's gonna be totally different. I hope it's for the better. :D**


	4. Prophecy, Part II

**A/N: I realize they gave Colonel Carter the boot at the end of the fourth season/beginning of the fifth season but I love her, so she sticks around in my story.**

* * *

Chapter 4 – Prophecy, Part II

"I think I should go see Carson." Izzy said, massaging her temples with her fingers. She had been going to see him every eight hours per his instruction, but the pain had been steadily increasing over the past four hours to the point where it was almost unbearable.

"Have you had any more visions?" John asked, sitting next to her at the counter in Rodney's lab.

"No, but this darn headache keeps getting worse." Izzy said quietly. If she talked too loud, it made her head hurt even more.

"Have you found anything, Mckay?" John asked, going over to literally look over his shoulder as he combed through the Ancient Database to see if he could find anything relevant to the device Izzy tested.

"I would have told you if I did." Rodney snapped.

"Well we're going to the infirmary. Radio me if you find anything." John said, giving a half-assed wave as he led Izzy out of Rodney's lab.

Thirteen steps. That's how far they went before Izzy had another vision. It hit her suddenly – much harder than the previous ones – and she crumpled to the ground.

"_Unscheduled off world activation!" Chuck yelled towards Colonel Carter's office. _

"_IDC?" Colonel Carter asked, standing behind Chuck. _

"_Nothing yet." Chuck said._

"_Atlantis this is Major Lorne. We're coming in hot!"_

"_Lower the shield." said Colonel Carter as she moved to stand on the balcony overlooking the gate room. _

_Chuck did as he was told but started to wonder if he made the right decision as Wraith stunner blasts began to fly through the gate room. Jason ran through the gate first, followed closely by Landon and the rest of Lorne's team before the man himself came through the gate. Landon turned to check to make sure everyone was all right when he was hit in the face with a Wraith stunner blast and crumpled to the ground immediately. _

"Agh!" Izzy cried, squeezing her head between her hands, the pain increasing drastically.

"Izzy! Are you okay?" John asked worriedly, his hands on her arms.

"My head." Izzy said, panting heavily as she waited to see if the pain was going to subside. Sweat started to form in beads on her forehead from the intense pain, and she wondered if her brain was going to explode right there in the hallway.

John wasted no time in scooping her up and swiftly walking the short distance to the transporter that would take them right outside the infirmary.

"Landon." Izzy said. "He gets hit in the face with a stunner."

John's worry began to increase as she became more delirious with the increased level of pain. He increased his pace and finally made it to the infirmary where he called for Dr. Beckett.

"What happened?" Carson asked as John laid her down on the closest infirmary bed.

"We were walking here when she had another vision and collapsed on the ground. She's having severe head pain." John explained, knowing that time was critical at this point and giving him the shortest explanation as possible while conveying the key pieces of information.

"I need the scanner prepped now!" Carson called while checking her pupils.

"What's wrong?" John demanded, following the medical team as they wheeled Izzy to the CT scanner.

"I don't know yet but I'll know more soon." Carson said, rushing off to put Izzy in the scanner.

"Carson." Izzy breathed, gripping his sleeve in her hand.

"Izzy, I'm going to need you to hold still while we get a scan. Okay?" Carson asked, knowing that it would be difficult given the amount of pain she was in. Izzy nodded, however, and allowed her grip on his sleeve to drop.

"Okay, let's move her on three. Ready? One, two, three." Carson commanded, a few of the medical staff moving Izzy from the infirmary bed to the scanner. John stood to the side out of the way of the medical team but close enough so that Izzy was aware of his constant presence. He did his best to maintain composed on the outside despite the fact that he was freaking out on the inside.

"Izzy, you're going to have to stay still." Carson said gently yet insistently, trying in vain to keep Izzy's arms at her sides since she was nearly writhing in pain.

"Can't." Izzy said, eyes squeezed shut as she tried to keep still. Her body wouldn't cooperate, however, and she kept twitching in pain.

"Colonel." Carson called. John came to his side, worry etched in his features. "I need you to help keep her still."

"Can't you give her something for the pain?" He asked, his tone rising in worry.

"Not until we know more about what's causing it." Carson explained. "Time is critical here. So, I need you to help keep her still or we won't get a clear image."

John nodded and stepped close to Izzy, taking her hand in one of his and putting his hand on her cheek with the other. "Izzy, I need you to hold still, baby." He nearly cooed, not caring that he had a small audience to witness the side of him that he usually didn't let anyone but Izzy see.

"Daddy, make it – stop." Izzy pleaded. John realized that she had digressed significantly, talking to him like a small child would instead of a teenager. Severe pain tended to have that effect on her.

"I can't, kiddo. Not yet." John said, his heart aching as he watched his child struggle to remain composed.

"Please." She begged, tears forming in her eyes.

"Baby, you have to stay still, okay?" John said, a few tears of his own forming in the corners of his eyes and talking to her as if she was a small child. "We have to figure out what's wrong so we know how to make the pain go away."

Izzy's hair was damp with sweat at this point. Despite her near-delirious state, it seemed that John finally got through to her. He squeezed her hand tightly as she took a deep breath and squeezed her eyes shut, willing her body to hold still for long enough so that they could get a clear picture as to what was going on in her head. Even though they were only scanning her head, the movement of the rest of her body was enough so that they wouldn't get a clear picture.

She took a second deep breath and her body stilled. Carson nodded at John, who moved away from the table while they ran the scan. They did it as quickly as possible, knowing that Izzy wouldn't be able to keep still for long.

John carefully watched Carson's face as he looked at the results of the scan as they came in. Carson was born without a poker face, so John immediately knew the moment that Carson saw that something was indeed terribly, terribly wrong. He started talking in hushed tones to the nurse next to him, and her eyes grew wide as she scurried off to do whatever Carson had just instructed her to do.

"What is it?" John asked, his hands beginning to shake at his side.

"We're prepping the OR." Carson said, treading carefully. "She has a tumor in her occipital lobe, and if we don't cut it out soon, she could go blind."

"A tumor?!" John shrieked, remembering to keep his voice down at the last minute so Izzy wouldn't hear what was going on. "How did we miss that?"

"It only just showed up. It's already about the size of a quarter. At the rate it's going, it'll be the size of a golf ball by the end of the day." Carson explained. It was obvious that he himself was upset about the most recent development, even though he was putting an enormous amount of effort into keeping his voice steady and his external features calm.

"Are you going to be able to get it all out?" John inquired, stuffing his hands in his pockets so Carson wouldn't see them shaking.

"I won't know more until we get in there, but it seems to be in a spot that is more easily accessible than some of the other areas of the brain. The risk in brain surgery is always high, but I'm hopeful." Carson consoled, putting a hand on John's shoulder. John swallowed thickly, feeling very much like someone had punched him in the gut several times.

Dr. Beckett gave Izzy a brief explanation of what was going on, but knew that she didn't understand most of it as she became more delirious in pain as time passed due to the pressure on her brain from the rapidly growing tumor. They moved her back onto a gurney before wheeling her across the hall to the OR where Dr. Beckett's team was already waiting for him. Dr. Keller was in there, as well, and John was hopeful that they would be able to get the entire tumor out before it was too late.

* * *

Hours passed. John nearly threw up when Landon was wheeled into the infirmary after taking a stunner blast to the face, just like Izzy said would happen. Rodney had taken a stunner blast to the face a few years ago, and though he couldn't talk or move his face for a while, he was fine. John knew that the same would be true with Landon.

Speaking of Rodney, John had him going through the Ancient Database again to find out why Izzy had a tumor. There was no doubt in John's mind that it was a result from the device she had tested, but they couldn't seem to figure out why the tumor appeared. Never had they tested a device that was recorded as being "relatively harmless" end up being "nearly fatal." There had to be an explanation, and Rodney had the threat of dying himself looming over his head if he didn't figure out why John's daughter got a tumor from this.

"I got it." Rodney said, coming into the observation room above the OR. "I found what I was looking for."

John tore his eyes away from the surgery to look at Rodney, who looked as if he had aged a few years in just a few hours due to the amount of worry and stress he was going through.

"She's not pure bred." Rodney explained shortly.

"What?" John asked.

"She's not pure bread." Rodney repeated. "Her genes aren't one-hundred percent Ancient. That's why she got the tumor."

"So the tumor was what, a defense mechanism?" John inquired.

"That's what it seems. It would also explain why the Database would have it labeled 'relatively harmless' because to the Ancients, it was harmless. The device was supposed to give someone the ability to see the future. They hadn't finished perfecting the device, so instead of it being voluntary, it happened at random moments." Rodney said, talking at a surprisingly fast rate.

"So they hadn't completed it yet." John said.

"Precisely. So, since Izzy had some Ancient DNA, it worked in that she had visions showing her the future at random. But, since she's not a full-bred Ancient, the defense mechanisms kicked in, giving her a tumor that would continue to grow unless removed. Once the tumor is removed, the visions will stop and everything should be fine." Rodney clarified.

"Should be?" John inquired, glaring at Rodney.

"Will be." Rodney corrected. "It will be fine."

John nodded and turned away from him, his posture and the way he set his jaw clearly showing how much he distrusted Rodney because of what happened.

"John, I really am sorry." Rodney said, his voice going soft.

"I know you are, Rodney. You need to stop apologizing." John said, though his voice was thick and his tone indicative that he wasn't in a forgiving mood.

"I hope that recent events haven't ruined your trust in me, John. And if I could, I would do anything to not make the decision I did again." Rodney said.

John looked skeptical, but he didn't say anything.

"At the very least, I hope that I can gain your trust back." Rodney said, sounding hopeful.

"That may take a while." John said honestly, his tone and posture softening.

Rodney looked defeated, and hung his head before responding.

"I see." He said.

"But, I'm sure you could do it." John said. "If you really, really try."

* * *

The surgery took 13 hours. Even though Carson was always careful, he was even more so when it came to Izzy. He tried to not think about _who _was laying on the table in front of him, because if he thought about it too much, it would distract him from the goal he needed to accomplish.

The tumor had already grown in the twenty minutes since they had taken the scan, but after he started the tedious process of removing it, it ceased growing. John hadn't left his spot from where he was standing on the observation deck. John was normally extremely composed on the outside, but when it came to Izzy, he allowed himself to show more emotion.

He was joined by Ronon, Teyla, Rodney, and Jason shortly after the surgery had started when word began to spread about what happened. Rodney was sitting shamefully in a chair in the corner, avoiding the military man whose trust he had shattered but wanting to stay close to make sure he didn't kill the one person who kept them all together when it seemed everything was falling apart. Izzy was optimistic – almost annoyingly so – and it contrasted sharply to Rodney's normal 'glass-half-empty' pessimism.

Jason was standing at the window a few feet from John, and Ronon and Teyla were conversing quietly in the opposite corner of Rodney. A few hours into the surgery, Landon came in, finally being able to move his face after taking a stunner blast. He stood next to Jason, and neither moved except to go sit down for a little bit before rising and standing at the window again.

John felt an enormous amount of relief when Carson nodded to him, passing the surgical instruments to Dr. Keller, who was going to close Izzy up. John, followed closely by the other five in the room with him, went down to the infirmary to meet Dr. Beckett.

"As far as we know, the surgery was a success, but we won't know for sure until she wakes up in a few hours." Carson said, hopefulness in his eyes. John nodded, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Thanks, Doc." John said, doing his best to not lose it emotionally in front of those closest to him and his daughter. Carson put his hand on John's arm briefly and gave him a small smile of sympathy before leaving to fill out his post-op report. Jason patted Landon on the back, Ronon gave Teyla a hug, and Rodney stood slightly off to the side looking visibly relieved at the good report.

Izzy was wheeled into the infirmary, and John swallowed thickly at the bandage that was wrapped around her head. They had to shave part of her hair off, which he knew Izzy was going to be furious about, but all in all, things were more hopeful than they were thirteen hours ago. He pulled up a chair next to her bed and took her hand in his, leaning forward and resting his head on his arms with the promise that he would tell the others after she had woken up and her cognitive state was assessed. He fell asleep almost as soon as his head landed on his arms, but woke when she began to stir a couple hours later.

Izzy blinked slowly, taking in her surroundings. She moved her muscles slowly, assessing her physical state. John called for Carson, who appeared around the corner seconds later. John moved to the other side of the bed so Dr. Beckett could examine her to make sure he didn't hit any of the crucial areas of her brain.

"Izzy, how are you feeling?" Carson asked gently, taking one of her hands in his and rubbing his thumb over the back of it, prompting her to wake up more quickly than she was.

"Carson?" She asked, reaching a hand up to rub her head before Carson caught her hand in his own.

"Careful, you just got out of surgery." He said.

"Surgery? What happened?" Izzy asked, meeting Carson's eyes. He glanced at John and gave him a reassuring look that everything had gone according to plan. She was responding coherently, she could see and hear… so far, so good.

"The device you tested gave you a tumor. We removed it before it could do any permanent damage." Carson explained.

"A tumor? Why would it do that?" Izzy asked. It was when she said this that it was confirmed – the surgery was a success. Since the tumor wasn't in the prefrontal cortex, her personality wouldn't be affected by it, but she was showing clear signs that she hadn't lost her memory and was able to understand what they were saying.

"You aren't a pure-bred Ancient. You have the Ancient gene, but you're mostly human." John said. Izzy looked surprised for a moment, just noticing that her father was on the opposite side of the bed as Carson.

"So it gave me a tumor?" Izzy asked, reaching for John's hand.

"It was apparently the device's defense mechanism. The Ancients didn't want anyone that wasn't pure Ancient to have the ability of seeing the future that you did." John said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Oh." Izzy said. "Well that's stupid." John and Carson chuckled at Izzy's bluntness, thankful that she was doing well enough to be making jokes.

"So are my visions going to stop?" Izzy asked. "I still have a headache."

"The visions will stop, but the headache is still from surgery. You'll have that for a few days." Carson said.

"How long am I going to have to stay here this time?" Izzy asked.

"A week, maybe two, depending on how you're recovering." Carson said.

Izzy didn't say anything, but her face clearly showed that she was not happy about the situation.

"And I'm guessing by the wrapping around my head that I'm going to have an awesome bald spot for a while?" Izzy asked, attempting to reach up and feel her head before John caught her hand.

"East, tiger. Your head is going to be sore for a while. But, yeah, you have a bald spot." John said, squeezing her hand.

"Awesome." Izzy grumbled. She was truly thankful that she was still alive and seemed to be doing fine, but was less-than-happy about the bald spot. It's a good thing that hair grew back.

* * *

**A/N: After a few requests from people, I decided to play pretend and 'cast' the characters on my story. Check out my profile page for picture of what I imagine Izzy and Landon to look like (Jason's up there, too, since some of you aren't aware that he's actually a character on the show). **

**SUPER thanks to those who reviewed, followed, and favorited! Responses will be PMed to you in the next few days.**


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